When in Rome..

I've visited Rome in all seasons: in winter, in spring, in autumn, and this last time - in plain summer. Being the beginning of July, I was prepared for the heat, but one thing I wasn't prepared for was the humidity. It really felt like 100 degrees! Luckily, the Romans managed better with the heat than with the snow. When I was there in February, there was around 1 cm of snow and the whole city was literally paralyzed.

Since I had been there before I didn't need to visit all the tourist attractions, monuments, fountains etc. and that was such a relief. But it wasn't so easy for all the hoards of tourists, mainly American, that in 100 degrees Celsius sun would be brave enough to get on an open roof bus being driven around the city. Visiting Fontana di Trevi was a nightmare, at any hour of the day. I would literally just try to get away from all those people, completed with the annoying sellers of all kinds of stupid-things-no-one-would-buy! The Spanish Steps are always a little bit more relaxed because there is more space, however the annoying sellers there become even more annoying, throwing small glowing balls (I couldn't figure out what those balls were!) in the air ALL the time.

Anyhow, I should start from the beginning. My first "adventure" at the airport. My happiness of finally arriving, after the 6-hours trip from Skopje to Belgrade in the bus, was killed when I saw the line for passport control for non-EU citizens.With 3 transatlantic planes arriving at the same time and only two policemen working, I figured I'd be there in the next hour. I wanted to shout "Macedonia is IN Europe you scumbags! It's not in Africa!!!" But I didn't. I waited patiently.

Having gone through that, I decided I would take the bus to get to the city center, since it was the cheapest way (the train is 14 euro, the bus 4!). I bought the ticket, waiting for 5 minutes while the girl was talking on the phone explaining to her colleague how she flirted with the cute French guy who bought the ticket before me. I wasn't really in the mood to fight, so I just let her finish. Waited patiently again. The ticket bought, I went outside to find the bus that was supposed to leave in 10 minutes. Seeing a huge group of people waiting I knew that it was the place and that the bus was late. I tried to count how many people were there, but it was obvious to everyone there were TOO MANY! I stood in a strategic position, behind a guy who knew the woman from the company, who was standing there trying to make some order. When the bus arrived you can (or cannot) imagine the chaos, everyone trying to push their suitcase or bag in the bus, pushing people to get into the bus, while the woman was yelling "calm down, calm down"!! I successfully managed to put my luggage and find a place in the bus, and had to watch around 15 people outside being told just to wait for the next bus, who-knows-when! I felt sorry for those people, but in the same time I was proud of myself that I managed to act in Italian mode!

What unintentionally marked my trip to Rome was their win in the semi-finals of the European Championship against Germany. Seeing all the people on the streets celebrating, drinking, singing, yelling, breaking bottles, joking, laughing, chanting.. you would think they won the World Cup! It was the creation of this euphoria why their loss in the finals was so tragic. 100 000 people were gathered in Circo Massimo to watch the final.. and I didn't see (but I can clearly imagine) how they left it after they lost 4:0 from Spain.

I knew that the beaches around Rome are very crowded and not very nice, but with that weather the beach was inevitable. So, me and my friend decided to visit Ostia Antica, which is an archaeological spot on the way to the beach and then continue and just randomly choose where to go. I don't know what I'd expected from Ostia, but in that sun it might as well have been the Taj Mahal, I would only think of the beach and the water. A lot of ruins, a confused person at the entrance, no proper map or guide, a bunch of Americans, toilets with no toilet paper, a nice sandwich at the restaurant and we were good to go. Oh, and google-translated-signs:

We decided we would go to the last train station, hoping that the beach there would be less crowded, being further from the city. But, my eagerness and excitement was killed when we got close to the beach and we couldn't enter, because they were "private". I couldn't understand how can a person say that the sand or the water is their, and that you have to pay to "use" them!! We would not pay for something that is there for free so we decided we would look for a "spiaggia libera" (free beach). Luckily, we walked only for about 5 minutes and we saw the sign.. small, neglected, rusty sign. We immediately said we were going to the free beach, but the guy at the entrance would not let us in, instructing us to go up the stairs, pass the official entrance and explain there where we were going. I kept thinking how a tourist that doesn't speak Italian, would not menage with all that or would not want to be bothered and would simply pay. In the end, we got in, we found a nice spot and we enjoyed our day at the beach.

Another thing I truly enjoyed this time in Rome was Castel Sant'Angelo. I hadn't been there before and I always wanted to see it. It's really worth the money and the time. The view of Rome from there is spectacular. I'd recommend it to everyone!

With all that, the best part of the trip was spending time with my friends and eating some really really tasty food. I ate some great home-made meals, and I went to some amazing restaurants. However, it's definitely the common rule: always avoid the places where you can see more than 5 tourists!! :)        

La Pianiste

It's been a long time since I've watched a movie that inspired such strong emotions in me to be disgusted and intrigued at the same time. To be covering my eyes and wanting to scream "Nooo!!", but curiously expecting what will happen next.

Apart from the amazing music throughout the whole movie, the extraordinary performance by all of the actors, the artistic scenery and camera angles, there is Haneke's mastery. The mastery of knowing how to shoot the face expression, of how long to make a scene last, of when to cut the scene and leave us wondering.

Even though the movie is made according to the book "La Pianiste" by the Nobel laureate Elfriede Jellinek, in my opinion no other director would be able to make that transfer from paper to screen more convincingly.

The main theme the book and the movie explore is the domination-submission relation. All of the characters are dominating at one point of the movie and are then submissive in other circumstances. It captures perfectly the reactions of the characters. How does the other part behave and react when one is dominating and how when one is submissive. Isn't love a game of submission and domination? Aren't all relations we form during our lifetime in one manner just a reflection of our position of dominating or submitting? Isn't the most essential relation of the individual and the society a relation of submission on the part of the individual?

Erika is firstly oppressed by the society which condemns the individuals like her. That is, individuals that do not conform to the general rules of socially acceptable behavior. She has to act strict and righteous in order to conceal all of her frustrations, sexual and non-sexual.

Then, there is the relation with her mother. Jellinek said that the character is based on her mother, and I am sure she is a representation of many other mothers, who are dominant and submissive at the same time. One moment inducing pity and the next hatred.

Finally, the relation with her lover. Benoît Magimel is really wonderful to watch as he goes through all the different stages of submission-domination. First, the woman is domineering, setting all the rules and having the power to command the boy, who being in love and younger is immediately put in that position. But, what can the woman expect when expressing her most hidden secrets, when completely opening herself to the man she begins to love? Only to concede her position of dominance and become completely vulnerable and in the hands of the man who now knows "the real" her. The boy doesn't immediately assume the dominating position, or isn't immediately aware of the change in their relation. When he becomes aware he is completely changed. Makes you wonder if it's not the exact same thing that happens in every love relation. The role of persuader changes gradually, and it's only after that we notice it.

I love movies that tackle so many different levels of the relations we form between us and the changes they provoke in our characters. I don't really know how come I haven't seen this movie earlier, but then again, I'm glad I didn't.
   

Le piccole cose

I found this lovely poem by Stefano Benni in one folder with papers from university. 

The small things (of you that I love)

1. Le piccole cose

che amo di te

quel tuo sorriso

un po' lontano

il gesto lento della mano

con cui mi carezzi i capelli

e dici: vorrei

averli anch'io così belli

e io dico: caro

sei un po' matto

e a letto svegliarsi

col tuo respiro vicino

e sul comodino

il giornale della sera

la tua caffettiera

che canta, in cucina

l'odore di pipa

che fumi la mattina

il tuo profumo

un po' blasé

il tuo buffo gilet

le piccole cose

che amo di te

2. Quel tuo sorriso

strano

il gesto continuo della mano

con cui mi tocchi i capelli

e ripeti: vorrei

averli anch'io così belli

e io dico: caro

me l'hai già detto

e a letto

stare sveglia

sentendo il tuo respiro

un po' affannato

e sul comodino

il bicarbonato

la tua caffettiera

che sibila in cucina

l'odore di pipa

anche la mattina

il tuo profumo

un po' demodè

le piccole cose

che amo 

di te

3. Quel tuo sorriso

beota

la mania idiota

di tirarmi i capelli

e dici: vorrei

averli anch'io così belli

e ti dico: cretino

comprati un parrucchino!

e a letto stare sveglia

a sentirti russare

e sul comodino

un tuo calzino

e la tua caffettiera 

che è esplosa

finalmente, in cucina!

la pipa che impesta

fin dalla mattina

il tuo profumo

di scimpanzé

quell'orrendo gilet

le piccole cose

che amo

di te.  

Water Serpent

Someone once told me that I looked like the girl in this painting while asleep.

It is still the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever told me.

I used to love that person.

I am now sure I fell in love with his words.

Now and then I still miss those words.

Like Crazy

I watched Like Crazy yesterday before I went to sleep. I thought it would just be another chick-flick and I would fall asleep in the middle of the film. Oh, how wrong was I!

It was one of those real-and-depressing movies that would just make you wonder about your life, relationships, and attitudes.

In short, it's a story about an American boy and an English girl that fall in love at university in LA. She violates her visa permit and once in England she isn't allowed to go back to America. So they must figure (or not) out what they would do to keep their love alive.

And that's where the trouble begins. They were happy together, they had some unforgettable memories, but are they real? First she was a student abroad, then he came to visit her on vacation in England.. and rightfully said he didn't feel a part of her life, like he was on vacation.

The question being tackled here is whether this kind of relationships can really work in the "real" everyday life. Surely, one can't be the same while on vacation and at home, having everyday problems, errands, and troubles. One can not be carefree all the time. That's what really screws us up. We live in those happy careless memories once lived with a person we cared about, we obsess with them expecting them to happen again, while remaining ignorant to the fact that people change, and that it would never be like that again. While living and reliving those moments in our head we neglect the persons that are by our side, just for the fact that they will never be that perfect as the person in our head. And everything IS more beautiful in our head.

The ending is always the most difficult part in this kind of movies. The director chose to leave this one open. We see just a hint of what might happen, but then we are left to make our own ending. Optimists would say that they'll stay together, they will overcome all the problems, see a professional help if needed (I read that in one forum, would have never came to my mind) etc. The pessimists (like me) would say that they grew apart, that once the idea of actually being together has become reality, they figured they grew apart, they were different persons now, that too much has happened in between for them to be careless and happy as they once were, etc.

It's really depressing, but then again, it's reality. Real love and passion rarely endures all life. Or maybe I'm just a pessimist..

I read this great interview with the director. It explains a lot of the natural feeling of the movie.

Norwegian Wood

I am not a big fan of Murakami. It's not that I don't like him. On the contrary, I think his books are very readable. Every time I come across one of his books I gladly read it. But, there is nothing that would push me to the library to buy one of his books. I never put him in any of my lists of favorite books and I am not one of those people who wait impatiently for his next novel.

The main reason for this is that for me his books are quite forgettable. There is not a character, or a feeling, or an event that would linger after I finish the book. I read Norwegian Wood maybe 2 months ago and I can't recall anything, only the main atmosphere of the book, which as in most of his books is depressing and quite dark. It is a "love novel", but strangely, that love hasn't remained with me.
I have to return the book to my friend and I found that I had left bookmarks in two places. I find these excerpts quite true and well-composed. Here they are.

[...]Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail. I didn't give a damn about the scenery that day. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about the beautiful girl walking next to me. I was thinking about the two of us together, and then about myself again. I was at that age, that time of life when every sight, every feeling, every thought came back, like a boomerang, to me. And worse, I was in love. Love with complications. Scenery was the last thing on my mind. 
Now, though, that meadow scene is the first thing that comes back to me. The smell of the grass, the faint chill of the wind, the line of the hills, the barking of a dog: these are the first things, and they come with absolute clarity. [...] And yet, as clear as the scene may be, no one is in it. No one.[...]

[...] "Hey, tell me, what do you think the best thing is about being rich?" [...] "Being able to say you don't have any money. Like, if I suggested to a school friend we do something she could say, 'Sorry, I don't have any money'. Which is something I could never say if the situation was reversed. If I said 'I don't have any money', it would really mean 'I don't have any money'. It's sad. Like, if a pretty girl says 'I look terrible today, I don't want to go out', that's ok, but if an ugly girl says the same thing people would laugh at her. That's what the world was like for me.[...]" 

Sagittarius

My Ascendant really defines me!

Sagittarius Ascendant from the Cosmo Natal Report:

"High-spirited, enthusiastic, and exuberant, you love adventure, change, exploring new territory, and are not happy confined to the same safe, familiar, secure little world all the time. You have a strong restlessness and yearning for something greater than anything you've yet experienced, and you often live in your dreams and visions for the future. You tend to believe that the grass is greener somewhere else and you like to keep moving, either literally or figuratively. Idealistic and optimistic, you always expect something better ahead. You love to have a goal, something to aim for, but once you achieve it you are on to something else. You are ever on the lookout for new opportunities and you are a gambler, willing to take risks and to break new ground. The possibility of discovering something new is what makes life interesting for you. You have great faith in life and bounce back quickly from disappointment and failure.

Freedom-loving and independent, you cannot tolerate being caged for very long, and friends and loved ones must respect your need for freedom of movement. Binding commitments and responsibilities often weigh heavily upon you and you may resist "growing up" and taking on the limitations of adult life.

You are friendly and outgoing and have a great sense of fun and playfulness. You are also philosophically minded and often quite outspoken about your convictions and beliefs. Sometimes you get carried away with your enthusiasm of the moment and you tend to exaggerate. You are often a big talker, full of big promises, and you are usually pretty convincing. You do everything in a big way, a generous way. You like to have the best, and you heartily dislike stinginess, littleness, or pettiness. Your vision is always large. You are able to perceive the big picture, general patterns and principles, and are well suited to politics, business, higher education or religion.

Other people see you as a good sport and a good friend, but one who is not always consistent and dependable. You may also be seen as a wise person since you do not get bogged down in pettiness and trivialities, and are able to communicate a larger way of looking at situations, one that opens up new potentials. You are a person who believes in miracles, grace, or just plain good luck, someone who never gives up on life, and you inspire and encourage others to keep looking forward."

From http://www.cafeastrology.com/sagittarius_ascendantrisingsign.html