L'esprit de l'escalier

How many times have you had a conversation and after it has ended you found yourself thinking about what you should have said?

How many times someone said something to which you didn't know how to reply, the responses naturally coming to you only 5 minutes too late?

I can remember at least 10 situations when I didn't know what to say at the moment, but 5 minutes (and even hours) after the situation has passed I came up with witty, smart, eloquent, adequate.. answers. But the moment has passed, and those answers could only stay in my mind, whereas I would be making promises to myself that next time I will know better.

The French (oh, the beautiful language!) have a special expression for this. It's "esprit de l'escalier". As Wikipedia explains, the first person to think of this expression was Denis Diderot (philosopher and encyclopedist). During a dinner, someone made a remark to him, leaving him speechless, and of course, the answer came to his mind only after he "reached the end of the stairs", i.e. left the gathering. In his words, "l’homme sensible, comme moi, tout entier à ce qu’on lui objecte, perd la tête et ne se retrouve qu’au bas de l’escalier" ("a sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument levelled against him, becomes confused and can only think clearly again at the bottom of the stairs").

So the "staircase wit" or "l'esprit de l'escalier" is a word worth remembering.

Annoying Facebookers

I long for the time I first started using Facebook, around 2,5 years ago. When I was still not sure if I should switch from Myspace to this new simpler site that didn't offer many of the "make-up" stuff that Myspace had. At first, it didn't seem interesting enough but very soon I learned that the simplicity was exactly what I liked. It was very easy staying in touch with my friends, posting photos I wanted my friends to see and write what's been going on on their walls.

Now it's a completely different story. There has been such a fuss about the privacy on Facebook as if someone is forcing people to write stuff they don't want others to know about them and post photos they don't want others to see. Then, everybody's on Facebook. I hate the fact that most of my relatives are now my Facebook friends. There are simply some things you want to share only with your friends. Then there is the Like button. Instead of writing something we just press "like" and everything's clear. Great way of communication (sarcasm!)!

When I was on Myspace I had all of my information and photos open.. I was writing stuff about me, trying to present myself to the new friends (and I met many new friends on Myspace). Now, on Facebook I try to hide most of the information, and I rarely meet new friends.

Sadly, it's like with most of the things. When a certain circle uses something it's useful, interesting and used for the right reasons. When EVERYONE starts using it, it loses most of its useful features and becomes quite pointless.

Nowadays, I only see people posting YouTube songs.. I really don't get it.. Why would you post every f*cking song you listen to on your Facebook?!?!? I post songs only if they are new and interesting (wanting to share them with more people) or if there is a special meaning to a song so a person would know it's dedicated to them.. or if I want to express how I feel at the moment. Posting 100 songs a day isn't really telling anything. Only that you don't have a smarter thing to do.

Then, there are the people who post what they eat. Why in the world would I like to know if you had pasta for lunch?? I don't know if they are aware of the fact that millions (literally!) of people have pasta and it's not really anything special. I would talk to my friends and I would tell them if I prepared something nice or unusual but posting photos on Facebook.. It's really just food.. and I would leave the food photos to the restaurants.

I wouldn't mention here the girls posting inappropriate photos or bikini photos.. It's really the image they want to present of themselves.

I can only wait for "The Social Network" and use the much appreciated "Hide" button.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

We all, more or less, know (I hope!) the story about Dorian Gray, the young man who sold his soul to the devil to have his eternal youth, and his picture where his old age and sins show. 

I set myself to read this classic, even though I much more prefer reading modern literature, and I downloaded the movie so I would watch it afterwards.

I was surprised of now much I enjoyed the book, and I'm sorry to say it was not the case with the movie (with Colin Firth, who after watching A Single Man really disappointed me).

Oscar Wilde is a real master in sarcasm and irony, truths and philosophies of life, human relations.. which can not be authentically depicted in a movie.

So, I recommend: Do not watch the movie, read the book, it's only 250 pages!

Here are some quotations:

"...I can't explain. When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I should lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I daresay, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one's life." - Basil Hallward to Lord Henry, introducing Dorian Grey for the first time

"Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer." - Lord Henry to Dorian  

"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes." - Lord Henry

"Pleasure is the only thing worth having a theory about. But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory as my own. It belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature's test, her sign of approval. When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy." - Lord Henry

"When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs." - Lord Henry

"Every effect that one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one must be a mediocrity." - Lord Henry

"Like the painting of a sorrow,
A face without a heart."